she never complains…

to complain: to express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.

I have heard it so many times…. so and so was dealing with cancer or some other illness and they never complain. When I hear that I feel guilty for all the times that I complain. about being tired or my legs hurting.

she never complainsIn my experience, the one who never complains is often viewed as  brave, tough, or heroic by others. I wonder if it is true that they never complain or if they reserve it for a select few.

How are you?

I am good… or I am doing well.  Sometimes I even say excellent.

I don’t elaborate.

How are you doing?

I am struggling right now with some depression… and new symptoms. My legs feel like they are on fire and I am not sleeping well.

I complain.

Sometimes I see their eyes glaze over and they quickly change the subject. It is often difficult to decide if they really want to know or it is a social nicety.

Truth is… this SHE complains. It is with discernment though.  Sometimes I get it right and the person is genuinely interested. At other times, not so.


As I write this there are more questions than answers which makes for a great inquiry.

How much do I share? With whom? How many times do my husband, family or friends need to hear my “dissatisfaction or annoyance” with my current state of affairs?  Am I really complaining or just sharing?

I don’t really have an answer.  I try not to dwell on my symptoms but I also don’t think it is fair to ignore them and pretend that they are not here. That said,  I doubt that I will be remembered as the one who never complained…. so be it.

How about you?  How are you?  How are you doing? How much or how little do you share and with whom?


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