coming home to the self

Day #14 – Describe your dream day. 

My ideal day comes a beautiful view of the mountains. It is a bright and sunny day with temperatures in the mid-70s.  A gently breeze is blowing.

I am awakened by the sound of the birds singing outside my window.  I am fully rested from my night’s slumber (a rare occurrence).  The smell of breakfast fills the air. I imagine toast, eggs,  and fresh squeezed orange juice lovingly prepared and served by a french chef. The maid draws my bath, makes up my bed and tidies up.  My massage therapist arrives and I enjoy a 2 hour massage bringing me a to state of total relaxation. My french chef prepares a delightful light lunch. My afternoon is spent lounging on my patio, listening to music, reading a book, reflecting upon my life, and enjoying the view. My husband joins me for a glass of wine before dinner that, once again, has been prepared by a french chef. We spend the rest of the evening enjoying each other’s company in front of a cozy fire. Perhaps we’ll make love.


The dream is over. It was wonderful but it is not real. It does, however,  reveal a great deal about me.  A few weeks ago, as part of a class I was taking, we were asked to come up with out top four values. Mine were personal growth, connection, teacher, and COMFORT. No surprises here but a wonderful confirmation that personal comfort is important to me.  Do I need to live my ideal day everyday? No, but I do create elements of it by gifting myself personal retreat days. I got the idea (and permission) from Jennifer Louden’s The Woman’s Retreat Book; A Guide to Restoring, Rediscovering, And Reawakening Your True Self – in a Moment, an Hour, or a Weekend.  

A retreat, like each act of self-nurturing, is a radical leap into self-love. Your retreat because you are yearning for something. That something can be ineffable, impossible to name, a whisper tickling our imagination. It might be the desire to know your true self, to be at peace, to find an answer, to bask in self-kindness. It might feel like a desire to touch something larger than yourself. No matter how half formed any reason for retreating can seem, each has a spiritual core.   – Jennifer Louden, p.4

It is interesting to  me how I went from an ideal day of comfort and luxury to retreating to know myself more deeply. That happens to me quite often. I start writing about one thing and end up with something totally different. That is also what happens when I retreat. My ideal day isn’t just about comfort. It is any day that I get a glimpse of my true  self. That IS truth.

I am going to resist the urge to re-write this post. I offer it as it is…. a testament to the need for good self-care (mind, body, spirit) to live well with a chronic illness,  Could this flow of ideas be Spirit whispering,  “take time to discover your true self… come home to yourself.”  I am listening.




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